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June 17, 2013 – 9:00 am |

This collection of short jokes has been made with the desire to make you laugh. Some of them won’t and for that I apologise, well I’m English, so I apologise at the drop of a …

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Home » Classic Comedy

Billy Connolly Jokes, Top 10

Submitted by on January 5, 2013 – 7:33 pm

Billy Connolly Jokes

Big Yin Jokes

I grew up with Billy Connolly in my head. That voice comedy riff-ing and talking sense and just making me laugh. Now Billy’s a national treasure and international super-Scot. Amen.

Comedy gold…

Top 10 Billy Connolly Short Jokes

1. “As welcome as a fart in a spacesuit.”

2. “ Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did HE THINK he was doing at the time?”

3. “American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.”

4. “If Jesus was a Jew, how come he has a Mexican first name?”

5. “Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea-cosey… who doesn’t try it on.”

6. “My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.”

7. “There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.”

8. “If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can’t have a headache and sex at the same time?”

9. “I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.”

10. “My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.”

25 Classic short jokes and one-liners to waste a bit of time on.

or if you have a lot of time 101 Short Jokes

TooT!

Jim

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