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June 17, 2013 – 9:00 am |

This collection of short jokes has been made with the desire to make you laugh. Some of them won’t and for that I apologise, well I’m English, so I apologise at the drop of a …

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Home » Classic Comedy

Father’s Day Jokes – Top 10

Submitted by on June 15, 2013 – 9:53 am
Father's Day Jokes Top 10

Father's Day Jokes Top 10

Best Dad Jokes

I’ve scoured the InterWeb for the best Father’s Day jokes and well…it was bloody difficult. There aren’t a great many of them, but these are the best Father’s Day jokes and quotes about being a Dad and about having a Dad.

Its never easy being a Dad is it? Ask Homer Simpson…


“It is a wise child that knows his own father.”

- Homer Simpson


1.”Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.”

Red Buttons

2. “My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.”

 - Spike Milligan

3. Daddy, Daddy, can I have another glass of water please?”

“But I’ve given you ten glasses of water.”

“Yes Dad, but the bedroom is still on fire.”


4. ‘ Father’s Day. It’s just like Mother’s Day only you don’t spend so much.’


5. ”A father is a banker provided by nature.”

 - French Proverb

6. ”If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.”

 - Bill Cosby

7.”Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn’t teach me everything he knows.”

- Al Unser Jr.

8.”A father carries pictures where his money used to be.”

- Anon

9. “There should be a children’s song ‘If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep.’”

- Jim Gaffigan


10. “One day my father took me aside and left me there.”

- Jackie Vernon


Bonus Monty Python Joke About Fathers

“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelled of elderberries!”

-  Monty Python and the Holy Grail


Woody Allen had a great joke about his Dad. Read it and 5 other great Father’s Day jokes




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