Jimmy Carr Top One-Liners
Jimmy Carr in 5 words
Classic One-Liners, Sharp, Witty
Jimmy Carr’s Best Jokes
- Is it fair to say that there’d be less litter in Britain if blind people were given pointed sticks?
- My dad’s dying wish was to have his family around him. I can’t help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen.
- Cats have nine lives. Which makes them ideal for experimentation.
- I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was “Shout For Help”.
- I went out with an Irish Catholic. Very frustrating. You can take the Girl out of Cork …
- No matter how much you give a homeless person for tea, you never get that tea.
- If we’re all God’s children, what’s so special about Jesus?
- If you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970s? go there now.
- When someone close to you dies? move seats.
- I’m not being condescending, I’m too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn’t understand.
Here’s 25 More Classic One Liners
Here’s 101 Short Jokes