Ken Dodd Top One Liners & Jokes
Ken Dodd in 5 words
Hilarious, Unrelenting, Classic, National Treasure
Ken Dodd is our national joke teller. He is the most unrelenting mirth-maker the UK has every know. He will never give up until you are a puddle of giggles.
10 of Ken Dodd’s Best Jokes
- I have kleptomania. But when it gets bad, I take something for it.
- What a beautiful day for sticking a cucumber through someone’s letterbox and shouting, “Help, help, the Martians have landed!
- 5 out of every 3 people have trouble understanding fractions.
- Just read a book about Stockholm Syndrome, it started off badly but by the end I really liked it.
- So it turns out that if you bang two halves of a horse together, it doesn’t make the sound of a coconut.
- A quick gag for all you Telepaths out there…
- Did you hear about the shrimp that went to the prawn’s cocktail party? He pulled a mussel.
- How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? Nobody knows – it’s never been done before.
- I told the Inland Revenue I didn’t owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside.
- 10. I’ve seen a topless lady ventriloquist. No one has ever seen her lips move.
Here’s 25 More Classic One Liners
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Here’s 101 Short Jokes