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June 17, 2013 – 9:00 am |

This collection of short jokes has been made with the desire to make you laugh. Some of them won’t and for that I apologise, well I’m English, so I apologise at the drop of a …

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Home » Classic Comedy

Sean Lock Top One Liner Jokes

Submitted by on April 25, 2012 – 12:03 pm 2 Comments

Sean Lock One Liners

Sean Lock Jokes in 3 Words

Acerbic, Knuckles, Surprising

Sean Lock is on the verge of being one of the all time great comedians. His one liners come at you hard and can take you by surprise.  He’s not always likeable but that’s his vibe and that is better than compliancy.

Short Joke Magic

  1. Interesting fact: a shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
  2. They say a woman’s work is never done – maybe that’s why they get paid less.
  3. I’m in therapy at the moment. I don’t need it, obviously, but I got all these psychiatrist gift vouchers for Christmas which my family clubbed together for. What I wanted was a crossbow.
  4. A bit of advice; never read a pop-up book about giraffes.
  5. How do you get a fat bird into bed? Piece of cake.
  6. A bit of advice: never read a pop-up book about giraffes.
  7. If you permed a fox I think it’d look a bit like Mick Hucknall. I actually think it’d be kinder to perm them than hunt them. And they’d be too embarrassed to go out and bother the sheep.
  8. So what if Jesus turned water into wine…I turned a whole student loan into Vodka once. Your move Jesus…
  9. Thirty million acres of rainforest are being destroyed every year and I’m attempting to recycle a single jar of Marmite.
  10. 10. You can tell a lot about a person by which X Factor contestant they like. For example, if they like any of them, they’re completely fucktarded.

“Sean Lock ladies and gentlemen!

TooT!

Jim

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