Steven Wright Top One-Liners
Steven Wright 5 Words:
Surreal, Unexpected, Thinking, Brief, Classic
The Classic One-Liner Merchant
Steven Wright takes your breath away. His one-liners explode like grenades of mirth amongst the audience. His comedy is so well tuned you’ll never find an unnecessary word. Here’s our Top 10 Steven Wright one-liners:-
1. Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.
2. When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.
3. Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
4. I put tape on the mirrors in my house so I don’t accidentally walk through into another dimension.
5. A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I’m afraid of widths.
6. I got this powdered water – now I don’t know what to add.
7. A fool and his money are soon partying.
8. Did you sleep good? No, I made a couple of mistakes.
9. George is a radio announcer and when he walks under a bridge you can’t hear him talk.
10. I went to a restaurant that serves “breakfast at any time”. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
See our list of 25 Classic One Liners Here
Classic Comedy Facts
To be funny you must own a dressing gown.
A comedian is a person who is not laughing at you.
If you want to write like a comedian you must be as one with the wind.
WTF is Bitcomedy?
Bitcomedy is all about short snippets of comedy in words, video and audio. It’s also about listing the very best of one-liners.





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