Christmas Cracker Jokes – The Alternatives, Top 10
Christmas Cracker Jokes Count Down
Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is a variety of really funny Christmas cracker jokes. What’s that? You can make my wish come true? Where? Here?
Thank you Santa,
Q: What do English teachers call Santa’s little helpers?
A: Subordinate Clauses
Q: What do you call a man who’s been diagnosed
with attention deficit disorder?
A: These are good crackers, aren’t they? Who bought these?
- Chris Addison
Q: How do you know if Santa is really a werewolf?
A: He has Santa claws!
- Dave Hill
Mary said to Joseph: “Put the rubbish out love.”
“I can’t,” he replied.“It’s Christmas – there’s no room in the bin.”
- Zoe Lyons
Last Christmas someone stole my present.
I’ve spent this year living in the past!
- Terry Alderton
Why did Santa quit smoking?
Because it was bad for his elf.
- Tom Wrigglesworth
Q Which playwright was terrified of Christmas?
A: Noël Coward.
Remember a puppy is not just for Christmas.
It can be made into a salad for Boxing Day too.
- Boothby Graffoe
Q: What did Santa say to his wife when he looked out of the window?
A: Looks like reindeer
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?
He sold his soul to Santa.
- Steve Pemberton
Ho Ho TooT!