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June 17, 2013 – 9:00 am |

This collection of short jokes has been made with the desire to make you laugh. Some of them won’t and for that I apologise, well I’m English, so I apologise at the drop of a …

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Home » Jim's Comedy

IT Jokes

Submitted by on January 16, 2013 – 9:30 am

IT Jokes

IT Jokes in 5 Words

Computer Jokes, Users, Tech Support. Gunfire

Mmmm I…T… Information Technology. What’s funny about this redundant term? Computer jokes and software humour have now migrated (‘ported’ in geek to Smart Devices and the ‘Cloud.’)

A Goose in The Hand…

I used to work in IT telephone support for Apple. Broke a stress ball once, goo all over my hand, someone offers a tissue, still on the phone I dab. Looked like I’d shoved my hand up a Goose who then explodes…

O’ well…

IT Jokes for your Pleasure

No wait.

Was Windows 95 The Biggest Joke?

Here’s a true anecdote and a rare joke concerning Windows 95.

I was in the coffee room. In walks Joe. He really needs a smoke.

“What happened? “

“Just had a customer on the phone asking me what to do with Windows 95?”

“And?”

“I said, well, first you load it on to your computer. I don’t have a computer, he said.”

How we laughed. Then we smoked a second cigarette together.

IT Jokes, Top 10

01.

‘A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history…with the possible exceptions of handguns and Tequila.’

02

Q: ‘How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?’

A: ‘None. It’s a hardware problem.’

03.

‘If at first you don’t succeed; call it version 1.0.’

04.

‘Programmers are tools for converting caffeine into code.

05.

ERROR MESSAGE

‘Sorry, but your password must contain an uppercase letter, a number, a punctuation mark, a gang sign, an extinct mammal and a hieroglyph.’

06.

‘There are three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can’t.’

07.

‘The difference between e-mail and regular mail is that computers handle e-mail, and computers never decide to come to work one day and shoot all the other computers.’

08.

‘What’s the definition of an IT professional?’

‘Someone who solves a problem you didn’t know you had in a way you don’t understand.’

 09.

‘Q: How do you tell if he or she is an extrovert programmer?

A: They’ll be looking at your shoes while they’re talking to you, instead of they’re own.’

10.

Q: What’s an IT auditor?

A: Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

The End

TooT!

Jim

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