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June 17, 2013 – 9:00 am |

This collection of short jokes has been made with the desire to make you laugh. Some of them won’t and for that I apologise, well I’m English, so I apologise at the drop of a …

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Home » Jim's Comedy

Knock Knock Jokes You Weren’t Looking For…

Submitted by on December 6, 2012 – 12:30 pm

Knock Knock Jokes

Do you love the classic ‘Knock Knock Jokes?’ You like puns then? Well these are not your average Knock Knock jokes. Nope these are surreal, stupid, mostly original “Knock Knock jokes, o’ and if you’re under 12 look away now.
O’ yes, and none of them depend on puns..

9  And a Bit, “Knock Knock” Jokes

 

1. “Knock Knock”
“Who’s There?”
[ASSUMES SEXY VOICE] “Who do you want me to be?”

2. Do you like Knock Knock jokes?”
“Yes.”
“You start.”
“Knock Knock!”
“Who’s there?”“…”Only works with that slightly gullible friend, yes we all have one.

3. “Knock Knock!”
“Who’s There?
“Surrealist…FISH!”Say “Fish!” before they say, “Who’s there?” For best effect.

a
4. “Knock Knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“Figs.”
“Figs who?”
“Figs the doorbell, it’s broken.”

a
5. “Knock Knock!” ***
“Who’s There?”
“FUCK OFF!”
“Fuck off who?”
“Who opened the door.

a
6. “Knock Knock!”***
“Who’s There?”
“Mum.”
“Mum who?”
“How soon they forget.”

a
7. “Knock Knock!”***
“Who’s there?”
“How’s your husband?”
“He’s dead.”
“So that’s why he was in that big box.”

a
8. Knock Knock!***
“Who’s there?”
Russell Brand.”
“Fuck off Russell, she’s only thirteen.”

a
9. “Knock Knock!”***
“Who’s there?”
“The Church of Later Day Saints.”
“Sorry I’ve got someone else on the other door.”

a

10. “Knock Knock!”***
“Who’s there?”
“The Archangel Gabriel. It’s time.”

…and finally this is what you get when you try “Knock Knock” jokes with the Siri feature on the iPhone.

SPEAKING INTO IPHONE: “Knock Knock!”

SIRI: ‘Knock Knock. Who’s there? Jim. Jim who? Jim. I don’t do knock-knock jokes.’

Humourless Apple bastards.

a
TooT!

Jim

 

***Original Knock Knock Jokes by me. Ooooo, lovely…

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