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The Sitcom That Cannot Be Made

Dear Diary,

Here we go again, another pitch. SIGH!

Well, it’s a bugger isn’t it? I want to create a big storyscape about an unlikeable character who’s life runs over different platforms with unique comedy, leading the audience on a treasure trail of discovery and possibly prizes.

Well, it depends on sponsorship, the use of mainly amateur performers and online marketing techniques and analytics…

A tall order, it’s scoped out now, just need a champion for this project to grow into a comedy venture never seen before.


Total Comedy is What We Want

You know I like Total Comedy, everything from inspired wordplay to visual sharks? Well I came up with this idea about a bloke who finally becomes himself because he accepts his minor disorders.

Multiple Character

FF is an ordinary guy, he likes words, and he’s had enough of the everyday nuisances. His mild disorders are expressed by a variety of characters, puppets and his video diary.

We’re All Mental

So, the idea is this guy FF, is likeable, O’ and did I mention it’s an EPIC idea, yep, bit like a US show, seven seasons of seven episodes, FF goes on a journey.


He’s not that likeable because he’s human, anyway this guy goes down before he goes up, all of his little quirks are expressed by characters. The quirks are what some might call ‘mental’ like being depressed and being told to “pull yourself together.”

Where’s Dad?

Since his Dad ‘evaporated,’ his Mum’s words, FF has been thinking too much. Now he happens to find out more about his Dad and how he died (but he’s not dead, you see). FF is a single Dad for half a week. He loves his daughter and takes her out on location for reports of small town life…

Why’s He Called FF?

The character is not fixed and won’t be fixed until the central performer is on board. I can say that he thinks he’s normal, because he is and his journey is about coming to terms with his family an the fact that he’s not essentially good, he’s like us all. But at times he is difficult. Sometimes he just wants sex, sometimes he takes business ideas to far, like the Insult Line telephone service.

The everyday chores take different, curious turns, Listen to FF calling an automated phone line.

Social Storyscape

FF is everywhere and he’s making stuff up. Or is he? Does he really get Texts From His Cat?

Text From My Cat Food

Taliban Twitter

Does he have the Taliban on his Twitter Feed?

Taliban Twitter


There are a load of other characters to populate the space, but which ones to choose, where will the story go, will we get input form the audience?

Characters in the office, in FF’s local rugby team and the various groups, the council, the ‘gangs’ fighting for control of the Garden City, from Human Rights to Roma, from animal activists to environmentalists, all interweave forming alliences and then breaking them to pursue their own ends.


What’s That?


Are you going to tell them about the Tigers?




Why not?


They might think I’m mad.


It’s a great idea.


It is a great idea but who ever heard of talking tigers…who live in a bra?


O’ yeah. Maybe not then.

Big Thanks for reading,


More Scripts

Kevin and Leftie, The Talking Tigers