Taliban Twitter III: Pole Dancing Club
The following Twitter stream was recovered from a pole-dancing club on an industrial park in Nottingham last night.
Some of the following is made up. Some of it could have happened. A lot of it is what we’d like to happen.
Smart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires
Aeh! Not ever seen so many naughty bits! #godcouldbewrong
43 minutes ago
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
Fortitude brother! We must not give in to decadent pleasure! Is the explosive safe? #godknowsbest
43 minutes ago
Smart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires
Why not? Yes strapped to my thigh.
43 minutes ago
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
Because. Well, because pleasure is wrong! I think we should have used the newer detonator.#savemefromenjoyingmyself
42 minutes ago
Smart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires
Yes it is. Forgive me brother. We can’t waste the old detonators. #frugaltips.
42 minutes ago
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
That is better brother. We are the just, we are mighty with god.
42 minutes ago
Smart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires
Brother it’s gone hard. #semtexworry
42 minutes ago
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
Ahhhhh! You will never see paradise. Meet me in the car park and try to look natural.
42 minutes ago
Smart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires
OK brother. Just let me adjust my…O NO! #helpI’mfucked.
42 minutes ago
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
WHAT IS IT?
42 minutes ago
Smart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires
My Jackal is out! She’s bending over! No. I CANNOT CONTROL MY JACKAL! IT’S TOUCHING THE DET…
41 minutes ago
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
Brother think of something unexciting! Cold tea, the Daily Express, George Osborne.. Simon Cowell, ITV!. Don’t look at the gir…
42 minutes ago
[AT THIS POINT THE TWITTER FEED WAS INTERRUPTED BY A SMALL EXPLOSION]
Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.
Bugger.
42 minutes ago
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