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Taliban Twitter III: Pole Dancing Club

Submitted by on April 23, 2012 – 12:30 pm

Taliban Twitter III

The following Twitter stream was recovered from a pole-dancing club on an industrial park in Nottingham last night.

Some of the following is made up. Some of it could have happened. A lot of it is what we’d like to happen.

Taliban TwitterSmart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires

Aeh! Not ever seen so many naughty bits! #godcouldbewrong

43 minutes ago

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

Fortitude brother! We must not give in to decadent pleasure! Is the explosive safe? #godknowsbest

43 minutes ago

 

Taliban TwitterSmart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires

Why not? Yes strapped to my thigh.

43 minutes ago

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

Because. Well, because pleasure is wrong! I think we should have used the newer detonator.#savemefromenjoyingmyself

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban TwitterSmart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires

Yes it is. Forgive me brother. We can’t waste the old detonators. #frugaltips.

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

That is better brother. We are the just, we are mighty with god.

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban TwitterSmart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires

Brother it’s gone hard. #semtexworry

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

Ahhhhh! You will never see paradise. Meet me in the car park and try to look natural.

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban TwitterSmart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires

OK brother. Just let me adjust my…O NO! #helpI’mfucked.

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

WHAT IS IT?

42 minutes ago

 

Taliban TwitterSmart_Bomber_147 Kevin Squires

My Jackal is out! She’s bending over! No. I CANNOT CONTROL MY JACKAL! IT’S TOUCHING THE DET…

41 minutes ago

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

Brother think of something unexciting! Cold tea, the Daily Express, George Osborne.. Simon Cowell, ITV!. Don’t look at the gir…

42 minutes ago

[AT THIS POINT THE TWITTER FEED WAS INTERRUPTED BY A SMALL EXPLOSION]

 

Taliban Twitter 2Shadow_Eyes_90 Abbas A.

Bugger.

42 minutes ago

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