Jane Austen Meets Quentin Tarantino
Rude words including FUCK, FUCKER, AND MOTHERFUCKER have been replaced with the word ‘LABRADOR’ ‘LABRADOR-ER’ and’ MOTHER-LABRADOR’
A SLEAZY BAR IN THE BACK STREETS OF LIVERPOOL
QUENTIN SIPS AT A SMALL AMONTILLADO SHERRY. JANE FINISHES HER PINT. WIPES HER MOUTH WITH A FLOPPY LACE CUFF. SHE TAKES A DRAG FROM HER SMOKE
Quent’ wat ya godda remember is…
My dear lady of silken honey.
Ditch the hyperbole white boy.
OK. OK. It was like the most Christmases in a row, the stars filled my dick and I was a Lion, you know one those African Mother-Labradors. A mean Labrador-er’ roaring Labrador, Labrador, LABRADOR YOU, you Terrier-sucking-Corgi!**
Then what did your Mother say?
She just ran sister.
JANE TAKES HER THIRD PINT AND WINKS AT SOME DOCKERS
So one last cigarette and then…
What have we been talking about? Yeah, no-more-liquor-stores. Besides, it ain’t the giggle it usta be. Too many foreigners own liquor stores. Vietnamese, Koreans, they can’t Labradorin’ speak English. You tell ‘em: “Empty out the register,” and they don’t know what it Labradorin’ means. They make it too personal. We keep on, one of those gook mother-Labradors’ gonna make us kill ‘em. What we gonna’ do now Lady?
I’m going to Labrador you till you stop breathing.
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